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Submitted on
October 12, 2008



Klosterman's Question Feature

Sun Oct 12, 2008, 1:28 PM
Having read Chuck Klosterman's book, "Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs", I was inspired to create a new (yet short) artist feature. In the book, Klosterman states that he asks 23 questions everybody he meets in order to decide if he can really love them.
For the sake of this entry, I've randomly selected Question #19. The first five (5) people to respond to this question with a reasonably coherent  answer will receive three (3) features of my choosing. So here's the question...

Your best friend is taking a nap on the floor of your living room. Suddenly, you are faced with a bizarre existential problem: This friend is going to die unless you kick them (as hard as you can) in the rib cage. If you don't kick them while they slumber, they will never wake up. However, you can never explain this to your friend; if you later inform them that you did this to save their life, they will also die from that. So you have to kick a sleeping friend in the ribs, and you can't tell them why.
Since you cannot tell your friend the truth, what excuse will you fabricate to explain this (seemingly inexplicable) attack?

1. :iconscheinbar: ~scheinbar
drachen steigen by scheinbar parallel universe by scheinbar :thumb89423249:

2. :iconpeggymintun: =peggymintun
The Vanity of Europa by peggymintun Square Book One - Page One by peggymintun The Devil's Breath by peggymintun

3. :iconfrenz1986: ~Frenz1986
Decay of Mondrian by Frenz1986 :thumb100329062: :thumb80401127:

4. ?

5. ?

support zombie hunting by Ashwings Shaun of the Dead stamp. by obakestamps Led Zeppelin by gigidelagaze The Doors by gigidelagaze PhotoLust Stamp 1 by PhotoLust Nikon artist stamp by argentoliquido Nikon D300 Stamp by CroWelsh Nikon by Krolikus


:iconanalogshots: :iconblacks-and-whites: :iconnikonist::icondevphotographyinc::icon4bstr4ct4rt:
  • Mood: Zest
  • Listening to: The Jim Carroll Band
  • Reading: Chuck Klosterman: "Fargo Rock City"
  • Watching: Leaves fall in my yard.
  • Eating: tamales
  • Drinking: a bottle of Ale Asylum's Nutbrown Ale
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It was late at night. While I sat down comfortably, reading a book in the corner of the living room..
A figure emerged from out the surrounding woods of the house. As the figure came closer,
his shadow was cast on the window I was sitting by.

I had been reading for a long time, so it was time to take a break.
I stretched my neck and turned my head and it was then that I spotted the silhouet of the figure growing larger and larger as he came closer. I wanted to dim the light next to me, but was paralysed by fear.

I tryed to wake my friend, but the only words that came out my mouth were silent whispers.
I sat there in the corner for a painfully long time watching the window, staring into the darkness of the shadow.
Suddenly the figure moved away, disappearing from my sight. It was then that I gathered all my strength, got up
and woke my friend. But because of all the adrenaline going through my veins, instead of poking him softly, I kicked him in the ribs, not aware of my own strength.

My friend woke up screaming out of pain. It might have been the yelling of my friend that made the figure go away for good. After I woke my friend, I quickly ran to the backdoor and turned on the light. I looked through the window, but nobody was there, only the dwarves shattered across the garden smiling with a big grin.

Sorry friend, but thanks for saving us!
limegintonic Oct 12, 2008  Professional General Artist
Wow! Now that's an amazingly creative, and wholly unique response, Hemelings! You have more than earned this feature.
Well to stay humble, I'd say; quite the cliché idea, yet revised and reformed with added creativity! ;)
peggymintun Oct 12, 2008  Professional Traditional Artist
Okay, here is mine. I'm not sure if Klosterman would have loved me or not, though. lol

I came out of a deep sleep just in time to see a Brown Recluse spider crawling on his chest. In a panic I wanted to get the spider off of my friend. Not seeing a newspaper or magazine in sight, I decided to kick the spider off of my friend. Being one of the most clumsy people in the world (and he knows this to be true), and not wanting to touch the spider (eeek...necrotizing fasciitis...yuck), I missed my aim and kicked him square in the ribs. Luckily, the spider flew off his chest and landed right in the still burning embers of the fireplace. Whew! (And the evidence just burned up!)

How's that for spinning a tale?

Holy shit, it has been over a year since I have had Cocoa Puffs!! Gah! I love those things, but I gave up sugar. :(
limegintonic Oct 12, 2008  Professional General Artist
Wonderfully crafted, and believably plausible. Well done, Peggy! You have been featured.

Sadly, I confess to still having an affinity for sweetened cereal. In his book, Klosterman makes an interesting observation about breakfast cereal and society; anything desirable is supposed to be exclusionary. For example, Sonny the Cuckoo Bird, the Trix Rabbit and Lucky the Leprechaun all want the cereal but can't have it. Translation: kids are cool and these characters are failures. In the end, these commercials for cereal assault children with the same theme: A product's exclusivity is directly proportional to its social cachet, which is the definition of calculated adult coolness. Makes sense when you think about it, doesn't it?
peggymintun Oct 12, 2008  Professional Traditional Artist this guy in marketing? sounds like it. it is sort of like prestige pricing. Some people would not buy a Prada (just picking one for the sake of example) bag if it were $40. The fact that it is $1400, or whatever it is, perpetuates certain people's desire to buy it. I will have to check out his book and see what it is about.
limegintonic Oct 12, 2008  Professional General Artist
Oh, I know you'd like it. The author is about our age, so all his cultural references really hit home. Very funny and very insightful stuff.
peggymintun Oct 13, 2008  Professional Traditional Artist
Okay, I bought it.
limegintonic Oct 13, 2008  Professional General Artist
Really? Let me know what you think when you finish it. I liked it so much that I went out and bought two more of his books!
scheinbar Oct 12, 2008  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I'd tell them it was an accident. I had to carry a very very heavy and big box and didn't see them resting on the floor... so i was just stumbling ... and had to carry the box not to let it fall down on him...

but what a peculiar story is that? who ist the one to give me such a strange question. Why do I have to decide such... I think I'm going to leave my living room, so I don't have to explain anybody what happens :)

Excuse my strange English, please. I think you're much more able to speak German...:)
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